Colostomy Is An Opening In The Abdomen To Which A Bag May Be Attached Externally To Collect Bodily Waste

When the doctor explained that I would need to have part of my colon removed, he also told me that I would probably end up with a sigmoid colostomy, recalled Jack, a 54 year-old contractor. A colostomy is an opening in the abdomen to which a bag may be attached externally to collect bodily waste. "The whole idea scared me so much that I kind of shut down and didn’t really listen. I remember thinking,… I couldn’t travel, I couldn’t work out at the gym, I wouldn’t dream of going golfing with my buddies or going to parties. What if I was giving off odor, or what if the bag got loose and I made a mess of myself?

"And I thought, ‘Well, that’s the end of my sex life, too.’ I mean, my wife Rachel’s a good woman. I love her dearly and she’s pretty understanding. But she’s no saint, and you’d have to be a saint to forget that the person you’re making love with has this… this hole in the side of his body. I wondered if she’d want to leave me, and then I tried to imagine dating again. No way.

"Finding out I had cancer was bad enough. But the more I learned about the colostomy, the more I felt that the cure might be worse than the disease. I was pretty blue about the whole deal.

"A few days before the operation I met with a nurse who was trained to help people deal with colostomies. Again, at first, I kind of tuned her out, too. But gradually she got through to me. It dawned on me what she was saying – that this can be managed. Yes, it takes some getting used to, and it takes work, and there will be times when it can be a first-class drag. But thousands of people have figured out how to cope with it. And there’s no reason I couldn’t either.

"Eventually, I got the message. Instead of letting this thing ruin my life, I decided I had 30 or 40 more good years ahead of me, and I was going to live as normally as possible. It was the best decision I ever made.

"After the operation, the nurse worked with me to find the right kind of pouch and attachments for me. The pouch lies pretty flat, so I can wear the kinds of clothes I like. I can take the bag off and enjoy a hot shower, just like I always did. I had to tinker with my diet a little – I cut out eggs and cabbage and some other things that seemed to increase gas. I still work out, but I don’t use the weight machines anymore. And since my cancer has been cured, I have less to worry about, so my attitude about a lot of things is healthier. I’ve even knocked a couple of strokes off my golf game.

"I’ve told some of my close friends about my ostomy, but other friends and most of the people I work with don’t even know. I figure it’s none of their business. But if anyone asks, I try to answer their questions as honestly as I can.

"And Rachel has been a real tower of strength. She helps me take care of the opening and the equipment sometimes, which is a real blessing if I’ve had a long day or am just not up to it. Once in a while she comes with me to my ostomy support group meetings. It’s done us both good to be able to talk with other couples who are wrestling with these same problems.

"If anything, this experience helped us grow closer. Sex is just as good as it ever was. A while ago we started reading long books out loud to each other. We’re in the middle of ‘David Copperfield’ right now. That’s our way of telling each other we’re both in this thing for the long haul."